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I spent this morning thinking about the forgiveness of God. Sometimes when i think about it, i cry.

How can he be so kind?

Everyone has their story. Mine isn’t filled with homeless nights, drug induced convulsions, alcoholic explosions, or blasphemous arguments. I don’t see it as the kind you use at missionary outreaches to show that God “can even save me.”

But my story is important to someone, namely, me. My story does entail two-faced living. I was teaching the scripture and looking at pornography, leading worship and carrying a bloated pride, prophetic and condescending. I was a modern day Pharisee critiquing everyone else’s life while living my own behind closed doors and closed heart.

It was in that condition that Jesus saved me. It is for that salvation that i am grateful. I don’t know that any sin blinds like the religion of the hypocrite, deafens like the life of a Pharisee.

But he forgave me.
He forgave me.
After making others feel stupid and second-class, after refusing to walk inside the door of grace and keeping others out, he forgave me. He saw my defiled soul and eyes and he cleaned them. Literally. I have no idea how he took those images away, but he did. I will always be grateful for that.

Having a name that i was alive, and being dead, he raised me from death and gave me real life.

Those who are forgiven much, love much. Though my life seems little to many, it’s engulfing to me. He has forgiven me so much. He forgave me of the entirety of my life. I don’t have much to give, but i know that he takes little and makes it into much. He raises us from the ashes and seats us with princes. He takes dust and turns it into gold. He took my dead existence and raised me to glorious life.

I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy.
Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live…
Gracious is the Lord, and righteous;
Our God is merciful.
The Lord preserves the simple;
When I was brought low, he saved me.
What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord…
Psalm 116 

How can he be so kind?

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